My Darling!!! ;)

Thanks mommy and daddy for this BIRTHDAY PRESSIE!!! (though it took me forever to upload pics onto my blog or even onto my com.. hahaha)





This darling has travelled quite a bit man... all the way to the GOLD COAST!!! hahaha from SYDNEY to GOLD COAST! I know you worked hard!! you deserve a treat hehe ;)



By the way, I'm not so thick-skinned la.. but a gift from a good friend so how can I not put it in my darling haha... Thanks dear.. Very cute, I like it!!!!





Me and My Darling!!!

The THUMBS UP!!!

haha.. Who cares abt the past as long as I'm Happy now!!! hahahaha... I seriously dun care anymore. I'll be contented with what I have. But I'll be much happier if soon I get my QUEEN SIZE BED!!! hahaha..hoping to change room. But can I?? hehehe.. I'll know in less than a mth..how good is that?? hahahah.. So now that part 1 is resolved. NO MORE THINKING till part 2 starts to bother me. But for now?? ENJOY!!! autonomy day is this friday!! hehehe that's good.. time to let go once again!!! this is really bad on my liver. one week after another!!! hahaha... but oh well it's ONCE a YEAR!! What a LAME excuse heh?? oh well.. what to do???

I realised it's really hard to reflect on happy stuff but really ez to reflect on the bad/depressing moments. So off to tell my happy stuff!!! hahaha maybe I'm high on the gym or the soup that was really super good and nutritious that someone cooked... Isn't it good that ever since I came back alot of pple have been cooking for me?? hahha I think it's soon gonna be my turn.. but oh well.. it's the company not the food hehehehe.. Happy happy happy (as long as I dun think of those few someones which add only to my problems) hahaha...

it was really funny today how one of our profs told us that alot of pple in med school end up marrying each other within the group. oh well, we can see that already after 2.5 years I'm sure. So the qn being is med school SDU?? or is it an education unit?? the questiong remains... hahaha.. back to my study...

sighz.. was thinking of enjoying a bit of autonomy day and go down to sydney for the weekend coz there is something I WANNA down there.. but too bad can't do it this weekend.. hmph :(... next weekend hopefully then...haizzz.... wat to do.. this sem I'm not as free as the last, I can't afford to keep going down to sydney. But then again someone said they'll come up to newie next weekend from sydney to visit me... sighzz..... what should i do then?? I dunnoe.... doesnt matter.. we'll work something out.... all i noe is that each weekend will be lined up with activities and soon 15 weeks will wizz by and i'll be in the states!!!! YOHOO!!!! and then HK prob hahaha (my yearly destination) and then.. I havent thot that far yet..hehehe prob do cambodia before heading back to newie for the new yr next yr.. but till then... it'll be hard work for the next 15 weeks...hehehehe.. but at least school seems fun so far hahahaha

True End of Episode 1 Part 1, but the beginning of Episode 2

It just felt as if something was completely lifted off my chest today. It felt refreshing and good. Something that I seriously cannot easily describe. All I can say is that it felt really awesome to have HALF the load (well at least half it off) off my mind. Never did i expect that one person to lie to me over and over and over again. So much for that little bit of trust left. To those who have been by my side all this while, and to those who helped me solve this matter, a word of thanks is just not enough. It seriously cannot express my gratiude. I guess it's not just the favor assisted, but the fact that I know that there are friends that I can rely on in times of difficulty.

Somehow, sadly, such joy does not last long.. And just as this one problem was settled, an sms came, and guess what?? It created another problem though very extremely minor, but why do my problems always have to do with that one person. How irritating?!?!! Oh well, but this time I WILL NOT be soft hearted. Who cares!!!

I was thinking over that day, when someone told me he hates me..I seriously had no form of reaction except to say by all means. However, I just felt that it's so wierd!! hate me?? Shouldn't I HATE YOU EVEN MORE?? but the fact is I don't. Why bother hating someone - it's so tiring. Just learn to take a heck care attitude that's what I told myself. But I guess it tells us only one thing and reminds me only one thing. That many a times, we have to learn to be objective of the whole situation. Sit back and think of what was wrong, We're only human; it's natural to be subjective and our friends will be bias towards us. But does it matter? the fact is, before we jump to conclusion, we have to analyse ourselves and our faults - but is it easy? I seriously think that it's really diffiuclt cause we'll always be blinded. But if everyone does that wouldn't there be peace and hence utopia?? haha what a wishful thinking on my part and hence I came back to reality and solved one problem.

Honestly, I dunnoe what i'm trying to bring across in this blog. I guess I'm just rambling on and on and the stupidity of me. But hoepfully everything will go well and smoothly; and soon each and everything will eventually be resolved!

Hopefully, this Marks the END of PART 1 at least...

For those who are concerned about me and what have been happening over the past few days, I'm really sorry. It really sucks that I can't hide my emotions. It's all written over my face. sighzzz... I can't lie but isn't that a Good things as well?? hehe... except for the fact that it's so difficult to try to be strong on the surface when you're just breaking inside. I know that you guys have been there for me. But sometimes it only complicate maters more when more pple are involved. I'm just contented to know that you guys are are around for me. Life is so ironical! As I said earlier, you lose some but you always gain some others.

Well, honestly today is my L-A-S-T tolerable day... for anymore of this nonsense. I seriously don't care anymore. Everyone has a tolerance.

Good & Bad...

hm... went out and caught up with some friends from newie today!! that's good to have heard from them after so long hehe. I guess that's what I've been doing for the past few days ever since I stepped back into newie except for handling all my shitty stuff hehe... And finally got my butt down to start doing some work.. FINALLY!!! hahaha... lazy me... haha havent had time to watch my TVB, sighzzz.... but oh well..looking forward to autonomy day next week and then soon i'll be OFF to sydney!!! hehee how good is that... Miss my friends there and loads of pple hehehe.... burning mid nite oil last nite was no joke!!! haven't done that in ages.

Sigh.. Feel so S-H-I-T!!! wat's my life turning into?? Totally feel like i'm taken for a R-I-D-E!!! I'm praying that when i wake up the next morning, everything's changed, but sad to say, it wouldn't. What I wanna would never come true (or at least in the near future I'm pretty sure). Sometimes I feel that alot of things in life it known as "ask-for-it". Sometimes favors are returned as a mess for you to clear up. This is what happened. Everything in my life is so topsy turvy. Luckily at least I managed to put something in order at least... sometimes I really wish I'm back in lismore where i can seriously live in denial of EVERYTHING. haha...

but one thing i seriously dun understand is why some pple are just freaking so irresponsible. doesn't responsibility come with age?? aren't we all old enough to think at least..shouldn't one practice what they preach? Who do you take me for? Your maid? Seriously, i think life is such a joke sometimes. esp now, i think i'm a total fool - a total IDIOT! and seriously what I hate most is pple not realising their limits!!! and why does everyone seem 2 b trying to test my limit?? seriously, i've REACHED it... and soon, very SOON, I'll be hitting that roof!!! sometimes enough is really ENOUGH!!!

New Semester Resolution

oh well, once I settle all the shit that has be thrown at me the min I stepped back in Newcastle; I'll fulfill my new Semester Resolution - not to slack behind and be on the ball all the time with my work. This semester's work is reallly full on. 11 hrs of school already on the first day. That's absurd!!! But what can I do?? Just study hard I guess. So that's my new resolution. Play Hard but Study Harder!!! And let bygones be bygones. Just pray that the unsettled issues resolve with time and new ones will be managed promptly. And hopefully my life will regain peace like when I was in Lismore!

And to the rest of my friends in Aussie - Have a Good Half Year Ahead!!!

And to the rest of my friends in US/UK/Sg - Have a good start of the NEW YR!!!

And to those who are working or looking for a job - Remember.. I'm still a POOR student.. hehehhee

Feel Just Like a Fool....

AM IN A HORRENDOUS AND HORRIBLE MOOD AS IT IS... totally am. It seems like everyone and everything is making a fool out of me. Maybe I just am a fool. But what the hell! I feel cheated and horrible. I feel as if everything is wrong. Nothing is going right at all. Maybe I just have a clash with newcastle. It always seems to be nice when I'm away from newie but the minute i step back here, ALL THE PROBLEMS START???!?!?! BUT WHY!?!?! I seriously do NOT understand. Why does it seem that everyone and everybody is lying to me?? Why can't pple keep their word. I'm just so tired. STOP LYING TO ME!!!! I HATE IT!!!! Why can't pple be honest and stop turning the story around. Why try to be nice when in the end it only causes you to be a fool?? I've come to a pt that i'm completely lost. It realli is bad bad bad this time!!! till i've been suffering for gastric ever since the problenm arose.. What the hell... i've had enuf abt lies and rumours... i just wanna my life back in order. Is it that difficult?? sighzzz... Can someone help me pls??? sighzzzzz......

To Accept OR Avoid??

Oh well... really enjoyed my stint back in Sg. EAT, SHOP, SLACK, SLEEP, WATCH TVB!!! How can life get any better? I have seriously no answer myself!! hehe... But that's life I guess... Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy. Came back to Sydney for 3 days 2 nites and totally enjoyed having fun!! Just chillded out with friends. Though there are heaps of you I missed this time, hopefully I can catch up with u guys again the next time I return yeah? Miss every single one of you!! really do!!! But now I'm back in NEWIE!! sighzz.. school starts tom... that's totally HORRID!!! sighzz... I havent truly had lessons lessons for ages. What's it gonna feel like back in the lectures?? oh well, just not looking forward to it. Now the fun's over and hopefully it won't be too bad...

haha.. Had another interesting chat with someone today. It was about learning to accept the fact of certain issues rather than having to try to forget certain episodes in one's life. I guess it really makes sense. Cause if you learn to accept and move on, the memories will still linger and depress you but you have crossed the biggest hurdle in your heart. However, if you think you have forgotten, and you actually havent, a recurrent episode may trigger a bout of depression which is indeed very UNhealthy. Hence, it's impt to accept the facts that lie ahead of you rather than try to avoid the truth...

To My Dearest Friend...

Well, something struck me today. Chatted with a friend that I haven't in ages. A true heart to heart chat i mean. Is that neglect? Do you consider that a can't be bothered attitude towards my friends? Well, but as we grow each day, we get busier each day, with more responsibilities and obligations to attend to. However, after not having chatted for so long, yet you can still pour out ya inner most feelings to me, I am touched and this I guess is due to the mutual trust we have in each other. That is not having to be with each other day in and day out, but having to know that during each trial or tribulation that we may encounter, there'll always be a friend whom you can rely to walk that road with you.

I know what you have gone thru in terms of relationships for the last 2 years. I believe that r/s is not easy to handle but one advice I have for you is:



Life is such. Many a times we don't have what we want in life. Things can never be that simple; though we all hope it'll be. But we just have to make the best out of it. Yes, we all paint a perfect partner we want. But is that possible? I really never will be. But what can we do? NOTHING! Just to take a step back and look it from a different angle. Something happened to me recently. Someone completely stole something very impt from me. Initially, i felt that the world was full of lies. But when I saw the smiles of the faces of the innocent children, it reminds you that in life - just like a coin - it has 2 sides to it. It isn't ez really, but don't put the pressure on yourself. Everything requires 2 hands to clap. It's not your fault. Probably the most impt thing is the learn to appreciate the finer things in life and the more positive aspects of each person. Focusing on the negative aspect of a person will only drain you more. And really, enjoy the present (PRESSIES) you have in front of you. He's a gift to you now - treat it as a special gift and you'll only be happier. Don't think too much into everything, it'll only kill the joy in life and I'm sure you'll succeed. Remeber when to use your heart and when to use your head!

I know it sounds really easy to say and I'm not going to say that I empathise with you coz I'm sure we all go through life slightly differently. But all I wanna say to you is I hope that you'll get out of this stronger and I'm sure you would. If I managed, I noe you will. Each step in our life is a step we take forward to our growth for we are growing and learning with each new day. Love you always! I'm finally coming back to Newie, so I'll be there for you when you need someone ok?? 2 more days and I'll see you! For now, hang in there my dear! Take care & Love ya!

Love You Guys!!!

My Good Old RG Buds (Miss those who are Missing...)

Do What's Best for Yourself

hm... as usual no one really understands my blog. But it's alright. hehe. Really happy that I managed to download many many tvb serials today - that's my life btw esp when i'm stuck in newcastle. haha... today was good yet bad. Guess I'm happy overall just that something really trival happened and kinda drowned everything a little. But in the process I've learnt not too think too much (something someone kinda taught me unknowingly). That indeed helps heaps. No pt thinking of anything if you dunnoe where it's gonna lead u to... Just let nature take its course and when you come to the end of the brdige, you'll ultimately noe where to go. And if u're really lost, i'm sure the Lord will lead and guide you in the best direction. If thinking makes life more confusing and difficult, why bother? Be happy and it'll all fall into place eventually. If it's a motivation in life to do better, then I'm sure there's no harm at all. Just be happy and do your best and leave the rest to the Hands of the Lord!

the key - DUN WORRY BE HAPPY (sounds cliched..but who cares..hahaha)

The Greatest JOKE!

2 sides two a coin - I so believe it's true now... hahaha

hahahaha... i've heard the greatest joke ever today in my life. Never realised how much of an idiot i've been. Why did I bother to help someone so much and getting my name smeared in the process. hahaha. I never expected anything in return, but definitely did not expect this in return. hahaha. Am i just dumb or stupid? haha. Think I've learnt to take ya advice as of today - be strong and not so softhearted: Do not let others take advantage of you - what an irony man!!!! hahaha

One story the last 2 days have been bothering me. My heart goes out to someone. Others may think that i'm jealous. May think that I'm gloating, but in actual fact I blame myself for the whole saga. Believe it or not it's totally up to u... hehe... Had i stopped it earlier this would not have happened. So why did I let it happen in the first place? I seriously do not understand. I guess it's really my fault. But now I can't do anything either just that little bit I've tried... for better or for worse I dunnoe either..

Just be strong yeah? And it'll be over soon. Close the old chapters so that you can open a new one. Once you find your happiness - remember it is yours always and no one can steal it from you! :)

And i'll pray that you - my friend - will get through this tortuous period with ease asap.

Happiness Reigns!!!

These few days are probably one of my happiest moments for the past few mths. Never felt so delighted and happy for such a long time. Happiness with no worries nor frustrations. Never been able to talk abt the past with so much ease till recently (prob lismore did good as acknowledged earlier). The freedom to do whatever I want to. The joy to see my loved on smile with each family gathering. The eagerness to meet up with friends whom I haven't seen for years. Being able to just do whatever I want at my own whims and fancy. Most importantly quality time with family.

Did alot of things today that made my day. News that I received, little gestures that pple made absolutely made my day. It's either i'm easily contented or simply that the past has been really traumatizing. Whatever it maybe, I'm glad for the supportive friends both in Singapore and Newcastle. Guess my trip back to Singapore made a world of a difference. Realised the sacrifices made in relationships. But i'm glad and appreciative of the friends for their understanding and support. I'm so happy that I seriously dun wanna go back to aus anymore except that i really miss my darling. hehehe. For those who dunno who my dearest darling is, use your head!!! hahahaa. He's my no 1, and he'll never go against me. How good is that. He helps me release my stress if need be, he helps me accomplish many things and most importantly he'll be there always when I need him.

I shall continue my joy for the rest of the trip!

For A Really Good Friend.....

Dedicated to a Really Good Friend of Mine - I know what you're going through though I say nothing, but this is just a little thought from me... Hope it helps...

If given a choice, would you find out the truth? What would do you better? No one knows till you try it out. But will that only cause more misery and unsettlements? So what's the best deal? I wouldn't know either. But I guess every OPENING in life requires a CLOSURE. There's nothing much any of us can do except to lend you our shoulder and give you a listening ear when u need it. Just remember that there are always many of us around you to support you in your darkest moments. And as long as you're happy that's all that mattes. If you are happy no one can steal it away from you. Don't hide it anymore, let out what you need to. I know that there's still some lose ends in you but besides being strong, running away is not going to help at all.

Just remember that happiness is what you own - something that NO SINGLE PERSON can rob you off it. And I'll pray for the day that I can once again see that TRUE smile on your face. And how should we go about searching for this happiness? No one can really teach you I guess, it's all up to each individual. But most importantly is not to ever live in denial, close the past, look towards the future. Take the past as a lesson learnt and move on. I'm confident that you'll succeed out of this trial and come out of it only stronger. I know that it's easier said that done; but once you see the rainbow you'll realise how beautiful the world is out there once again and that little setback is nothing compared to the horizon that awaits you.

Take care my dear and if you ever need a listening ear i'm here no matter how far i maybe (even if i'm back in aus). Just shout for me and i'll be there. I promise. I've been through this before and I totally understand how you feel but I guess I've been enlightend; and thus I'm confident that you'll soon reach that finishing line and win this race only to find the beauty that awaits you, esp since you've always been stronger than me :)

Treasure What's In Front of You Before it's Too Late...

In life, we lose some and we gain some. But prob the most important thing is to treasure what is right in front of us. Many a time we never realise it's importance till it's gone. And often that just leads to regrets. Never realised how impt somethings and some pple are to me until things that have happened. But i guess that is life. Treasure it or it's gone. Well, at least there are the memories that you can still hold on to. Whatever it may be, the fact is that it has disappeared and all one can do now is to treasure those memories that were once part of this whole saga. Once it is too late, you'll regret it. Regret that you once took everything/everyone for granted. Now the clock cannot be turned but it's all too late.

Sometimes how you wished you could turn back the clock and take back what u've said or done; but it's just impossible - the harm is done. There is nothing u can do abt it now anyway except to remember this lesson learnt. And also to pray that the Lord will bless you with happiness and a direction for the future. Where should I go? Where should my footsteps take me? Only the Lord will know.

The worse ever is to live in regrets but that's just something you have to live with. So minimize ya regrets and treasure the present! Well, in life there are things u can change but somethings you can never ever change. You should know what they are. And these are the essence of our lives. The most intricate aspects of our lives yet these little things are those that we always end up taking for granted. Life is IRONICAL, but that's just the way it is.

Just Remember: Treasure the Present Before It's Ever Too Late...