Friday, March 31, 2006

An Unusual Entry...

hahaha... I've finally found MY LIFE!!! a website full and full of drama serials..endless..no sharing needed...how shiok!!!! haha..you may think it's sad..but nvm..it's my life..my TVB Serials..but it's sucky that I can't download it in school... so my nice friends out there... U get the hint?? muahhahahaa.. now i can start sitting and watching in my room...but sighzzz...first off i need to finish my report...well getting there...about half way through..haha though it's really cray but at least I tried...hahhahaa...afterall i still have 2 more weeks...so it's all good...hehehe...found my motivation....

am so happy!!!! hahaha

~forget abt the misery and focus on the present or the future~

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Moral of the Story - "Do Not Assume"

hahaha...It's really funny how many people start telling me they dun understand my blog.. Yeah I guess not many people would fully understand my blog unless u're really really really close to me. For one, my blog does not reflect one thing. It jumps from issue to issue and after many days it may come back to the first topic.. So, it prob isn't what you're thinking... Honest... Even some of my really close friends are telling me stuff and after many days I've realised that it's totally off the topic and not even close to what i've been writing abt. So if u're not sure... the best is do not 2nd guess...hehehehe

Well... honestly, my blog is not for me to tell ppl my life story...coz i dun intend to...hehe... it's my grounds for me to express my inner feelings in a 3rd party way... it doesnt hint at anyone...nor at anything... it's my views and my thoughts about issues that may or may not concern me at all.. certain burning feelings that I may wanna write about to pacify or simply instil a calming effect in my life..sometimes or more than often it's an issue that sparks my thoughts and feelings about stuff... and hence the hand follows the heart or the mind to write... Sometimes it does not even involve me... they could simply be stories I hear where I immerse myself to be part of the story to write a reflection...

So moral of the story is...DO NOT ASSUME you know everything....hehehe.. Am I Mean??? hahahahaha

If you really wanna know... then ask me... but it doesnt mean I'll tell you.... hahahhaahah

A Lesson Learnt

Sometimes u really wonder what kinda game people are playing?? They play a game which they don't even think before they act... How lame??!?!?! Is it pure ignorance of people or is it just simply their immaturity? Sometimes you really wonder... Although i'm just observing the game being played, the consequences and actions that can be taken can indeed be very harsh and severe... Are they prepared to face it?? I really wonder.. But from here I seriously learnt a lesson which I have always been nagged to do, that is to think b4 you speak!! Now i know the seriousness of such an action...

I thank the person for nagging at me all this time, though he probably will never read my blog, but still.. every little thing is a lesson learnt and I've indeed learnt this lesson. To think of the consequences and be responsible for your actions... Thank gdness it is not through the hard way but the ez way out cause I did not have to face the consequences... Hence, I must say that this lesson is indeed valuable....

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Thank You My Friends!!!

Everytime I think that things go well.. and that I'm happy, SOMEONE really has to take it away from me.... Oh well...is that life?? but anyway.... I'm glad for the friends that I have...the friends that are always by my side and the friends that have gone through thick and thin with me... I really appreciate their concern and i greatly treasure these friendships that grew through the many incidents we went through together.

Each time I'm with you guys, I just feel so much lighter and happier as if a burden is taken away from me... Sounds very dramatic and cliched rite?? But oh well... these are wat i'm really feeling. To me, happiness and all kinds of relationship are priceless but sadly these are probably the most impt things of my life. Something which I would hold on very strongly to and treasure. and isn't it so ironical that the little things in life which are probably the most valuable can never be bought... and usually these are the smallest things which we often take for granted... :)

Whatever it is, thank you my dearest friends who have walked this road with me.... and my dearest blessings to you!!! :)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Where Should I Go?!?!

hahahah...since so many pple have been complaining that my blog is really sad...haha i'm putting an effort to lighten the mood...bleaghz ;)

Oh well... it's not all that bad la.. just that I usually use blogs to get rid of the frustrations within me.. But I guess it's starting to seem like the whole world is falling apart.. Neh, life isnt that bad... they're definitely good things going around me.. hehe... Well... I like this HES term...it's really relaxing..for once i can do something i really like in school.. Maybe pple are thinking it's a bludge...to a certain extent, i believe so.. but actually it's pretty full on too... placements are tiring my friends..hahahah but the minute u see the smiles on the faces of the children, everything is forgotten... You start becoming immersed in the world of theirs.. and u're happy too...

And now i'm looking forward to taking a short break.. havent decided where i really wanna go..but hopefully I'll decide really soon.. I've got a long 3 week break... a break away from everything..how good is that?? a time to relax and put everything aside.. Hm..... soon i can go and find my friends...and do my favourite past time - SHOPPING!!!! hahaha..... time to start exploring all the factory outlets...heheheheehe

and i must say i've been really happy these few days....doesnt sound very convincing does it?? hahaha.. I guess so... but well having just come back from a shopping spree and looking forward to another next week does the trick...back to Sydney soon!!! soon i'll also get my freedom...hahah been caged for coming to 2 mths!!!! muhahahhahhaha

Ten Philosophies of Life

Read this somewhere...and I think it is so true....hehehehe

..................................................................................

YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY

You may like it, you may hate it but it's your's to keep to the end, so look after it.


YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, 'LIFE'.


THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS

Life is a continual process of time and error. The experiments that fail are as much a part of the process as the ones that work.


LESSONS ARE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNT

A lesson will be presented to you in a variety of forms until you have learnt it. When you have learnt it, you can go on to the next lesson.


YOUR LEARNING CURVE IS INFINITE

There's no part of this life that does not contain lessons. If you're alive, then there are lessons you still have to learn.


THE GREENEST GRASS IS UNDER YOUR FEET

When you're 'there', there becomes 'here'. You will simply find another 'there' that will look better than your 'here'.


OTHER PEOPLE ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU

You cannot love something about another person unless it reflects something you love about yourself. Similarly, if you dislike something about another person, it reflects something about who you are.


WHAT YOU MAKE OF LIFE IS MERELY UP TO YOU

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.


YOUR ANSWERS LIE WITHIN YOU

The answers to Life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.


YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS

A Life For Yourself

In life, do you live one for yourself or for others?? If you live life for yourself and see your loved ones happy but you yourself are not, is it worth the while?? Or would you be happy just seeing others happy?? I guess to reach the realm of being happy and just watching others happy is the equation of true love or kinship - the blood ties that links the familiy together. But I guess there never be a pt of True Love. Does it ever exist?? We all get tired at some stage... I guess...

It's not as if we don't wanna think for others before ourselves. I'm sure many of us do.. but the bottom line is are we happy? If you are, then that's fine.. but ultimately if u do get hurt, the only one that suffers is you yourself... so is this equation worth it?? Only you yourself can answer that. No one else can.

We know that people arnd us are concerned for us, but sometimes we just have to lead the life we want and not be bothered by the many disturbances or distractions that encapsulate us. For this may just complicate matters or even deepen our sorrows. Happiness is what you perceive it to be.. not what others think is best for you. You know yourself best.. you should know what you want..

So do you still wanna a life for yourself or a life that will make pple you love happy....??? That remains as mystery for now...

The Many "WHAT IFs" in Life

Am I avoiding things or do I really wanna face it?? But I don't really know what I want either. It seems like i do.. But each time I make a decision I start pondering again. "What if??" oh well there's so many "what ifs" in this world that sometimes I guess it really tires you.

Sighz.. what if i did never msg you.. what if i just ignored the whole matter.. what if i never went to probe.. what if we continued on.. what if we don't?? oh well there are so many "what ifs" in the whole story that sometimes it jsut makes matters more complicated. The fact is these "what ifs" never stand alone... They are all just hypothetical coz the "what ifs" are just escapisms of lives and not the true reality...

But then again taking away all the "what ifs", I still have many questions I wanna ask. However, I don't know if i really wanna know..So what even if I know?? or i just wanna remain in ignorance once again... It's not like I wanna rake up the past, but sometimes it just haunts you.. It's not that I can't trust but it's just that I probably do not know enough. But is the past really impt?? Or is the future more impt?? But can one really ignore the past and proceed into the future?? I really wished I knew...

Monday, March 27, 2006

Dedicated to a Very Very Good Friend Who's Been Going Through His Set of Trials & Tribulations

HE IS ALWAYS THERE

We can't foresee the turning of the tide
When problems beset us and tears are cried.
Sometimes life deals from the bottom of the deck
Filling us with worry and leaving us a wreck.
The enemy seeks to devour and destroy,
Using deceptions to eliminate our joy.
While walking through the valley, our heads hung low,
The mountain top seems so high, our footsteps slow.
How many times have we traveled this road
To battle the frustrations of troubles bestowed?
Yet when we come to our darkest hour
God demonstrates His infinite power.
It doesn't matter how bad things might seem,
He always comes through, our faith to redeem.
God will not fail us in our times of pain.
He'll never forsake us, by our side He'll remain.
So when we find ourselves at a total loss
Or when the valley seems too wide to cross,
Just remember you're in His love and care,
Look over your shoulder, He's always there!

~ Author Anonymous ~

A Blessing in Disguise

Oh well, this bad flu is giving me a break!!! It really is a blessing in disguise.... First time in history which I have really enjoyed being sick. Guess the placements were wearing me out and it's time I take a break from all these. haha... In the past, being sick still meant that you can attend classes, but now you can't!!! So this is probably a good deal.

No class + time to slack away = perfect timing!!!!

Everything seems good except for the fact that I'm suffering from this splitting headache.. It's so horrible. Sighz...it sucks that I can't get to sleep. Have been sleeping so much recently already... But I guess this gives me time for my Drama Serials and Movies and Just Time To Stone Away.... though I've yet to start on my report...Hopefully I get it done soon... Looking forward to my little trips this easter... so ought to finish it real quick and then I can enjoy my little break before the next term... and once tt's over... I'm half way to the end of this course... hehehehe.... "my little motivation"....

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The New Challenge

This weekend was spent away from the quiet and boring Newcastle... Actually every weekend since I've been back I've been down in Sydney.. Though I've been sick the whole of this week.. Exhausted without much sleep... this weekend was one weekend I really enjoyed myself... WHY?? I have no idea... Maybe it is the thought of being able to put the load of baggage aside finally.. to learn to let go and to learn to free myself from what used to tie me down.. and i've finally been able to take the past as a lesson learnt, but not as a punishment... afterall why blame yaself when everything takes 2 hands to clap?? It never is totally ya fault. If anyone were to be blamed, everyone involved has a part to play, big or small.. But why hold grudges?? If most people are eventually happy, isn't that the best???

But for now, I'm looking forward to a new beginning with new hopes and desires. A totally new and refreshing life that marks the end of one beginning. There's always a new light at the end of each road, it's just a matter of whether you can find it, and whether u wanna reach for it... It may be one of the most undulating paths, but whatever it maybe, the end goal is the satisfatcion and happiness that you receive out of that long and arduous journey. Life is never easy, but if you take it as a challenge with a positive attitude, half the battle is won....

....and so the NEW CHALLENGE BEGINS!!!!

~Turn the Wrongs into Rights, the Downs into Ups, and the Negatives into Positives~

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Happiness Lies in YOUR Hands

hm...must really say that blogging is a good form of stress relieve... Sometimes writing is a good form of releasing the burden..and releasing the tension within yourself... You free yourself and pple arnd you from the burden at times.. which i guess is a good thought after all... and unknowingly, in the process you're both lighter and happier...

I know it's easier said than done, but once u can put the past behind you such that the unhappiness becomes history... your reward/pressie is the TRUE happiness that awaits you. The happiness is thus IN YOUR HANDS...

No matter how difficult or challenging it may be... have confidence in yourself to be strong and to be able to stand up once again... and more will definitely await you at the end of this battle (against yourself)... and that's what life is all about i guess.... :)

Friday, March 24, 2006

So What if You Know???

oh well... I guess knowing is worse than not knowing... Learning that people you trusted betrayed you time and time again... Once doesn't matter, twice is still acceptable, but over and over again?? It's not a matter of simply trust. This may sound like some primary school fued saga, but there really isn't any.

It's just great disappointment that is bound with everything. The disappointment that led to show that what you ascertained from someone who claims to be ya friend turns around and seems otherwise. Maybe I havent ironed out the facts straight. So what if the facts I THOUGHT arent true?? But don't you think contradictions in life paint a person's character and personality?? Saying one thing and doing another?? Don't you call that a hypocrite?? Even if all the excuses in the world point to the fact that it's not meant to hurt anyone... Don't you think it'll hurt that someone even more when the truth prevails??

Oh well...wat's past is past. Most imptly I guess is the future and that the many trials in life will only make you stronger and more matured. That's still the blessings of the Lord!!! :)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

God's Promise


God didn't promise
days without pain
laughter without sorrow
or sun without rain.
But God did promise
strength for the day,
comfort for the tears
and a light for the way,
And for all who believe
in His kingdom above,
He answers their faith
with everlasting love.

~ Author Anonymous ~

Or Maybe Sometimes, the Truth is Worse...

Sometimes... actually mainly most times... living in disbelief is the best. Sigh...each time i feel that i've made progress in my life, I somehow feel that there is something I cannot let go. Is life such?? When can we finally let go of something.. Read something today that made me really really upset... Don't know why I bothered to read it in the first place, but I guess curiousity really killed the plot... from a happy ME living in disblief to one that I'm not sure wat will turn out after tonight...

I don't know what's it called.. many pple who found out have asked if there was any form of anger or hatred?? Honestly, there isn't. Not even the slightest bit.. Maybe no one believes but it doesnt really matter anyway.... Probably jsut tired about anything and everything.. But I seriously don't understand why there's even a need for anyone to lie??? But then again... so what if you ever found out the truth?? cause most of the time it never is nice... Is life that bleeeaaaakkkk?? The more I find out.. which I did not want to but inadvertently did... the more I hate myself... Why did I bother?? Sometimes there is no answer....

But I'm even more confused now...if wat happened in the past still has an effect on me?? What am I thinking now and what is it that I really want?!?!!?! I really want to know... Maybe i'll never find out.. Maybe one day I would... But when can I be sure that I've finally been able to let it go... Oh well... i really should sort out my life really soon... After rattling on for so long... hopefully this marks the end of everything and that I can really move on with my life... Guess it's also time that I stop tiring my friend who has given me so much care and support... he has his share of problems too..I guess i was just too inconsiderate...sorry (you know who you are...hehehe)....but oh well....the end...it's really the end...I HOPE!!! Thanks mate for being with me all this while...greatly appreciated..and I hope that everything will be going well for u soon too!!!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

My Favourite and Most Motivating Verse...


Footprints in the Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.


Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.


When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.


He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.


He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.


This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:


"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:


"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

I Wish I Knew...

Realised the most impt thing in life is never to face the problem and never to avoid it. It's difficult I must say, but if you never tried, how would you know that it is impossible? I wished I knew the answers to whatever is bothering me now... but I guess all the incidentals in life will always come with a "what if". This is especially so if u think that in the process u may lose something which means so dear to u.. But what u're actually feeling inside.. who ever knows??

Initially, i so thought i knew what was happening in my life and i belived that i had a straightforward direction in my life. However, since having felt that i lost something within my life, i'm back to my original position - uncertain of the uncertainties in life once again... is this what life is abt?? If only i knew...

At present, all I hope is that I can find an answer to the many questions in my life... whateva it is..i'm happy that i'm not alone coz I know that the Lord will always be there for me. and so will my family and friends who have walked through part my life with me... and i wanna thank these people who have always been there for me...