Or Maybe Sometimes, the Truth is Worse...
Sometimes... actually mainly most times... living in disbelief is the best. Sigh...each time i feel that i've made progress in my life, I somehow feel that there is something I cannot let go. Is life such?? When can we finally let go of something.. Read something today that made me really really upset... Don't know why I bothered to read it in the first place, but I guess curiousity really killed the plot... from a happy ME living in disblief to one that I'm not sure wat will turn out after tonight...
I don't know what's it called.. many pple who found out have asked if there was any form of anger or hatred?? Honestly, there isn't. Not even the slightest bit.. Maybe no one believes but it doesnt really matter anyway.... Probably jsut tired about anything and everything.. But I seriously don't understand why there's even a need for anyone to lie??? But then again... so what if you ever found out the truth?? cause most of the time it never is nice... Is life that bleeeaaaakkkk?? The more I find out.. which I did not want to but inadvertently did... the more I hate myself... Why did I bother?? Sometimes there is no answer....
But I'm even more confused now...if wat happened in the past still has an effect on me?? What am I thinking now and what is it that I really want?!?!!?! I really want to know... Maybe i'll never find out.. Maybe one day I would... But when can I be sure that I've finally been able to let it go... Oh well... i really should sort out my life really soon... After rattling on for so long... hopefully this marks the end of everything and that I can really move on with my life... Guess it's also time that I stop tiring my friend who has given me so much care and support... he has his share of problems too..I guess i was just too inconsiderate...sorry (you know who you are...hehehe)....but oh well....the end...it's really the end...I HOPE!!! Thanks mate for being with me all this while...greatly appreciated..and I hope that everything will be going well for u soon too!!!
I don't know what's it called.. many pple who found out have asked if there was any form of anger or hatred?? Honestly, there isn't. Not even the slightest bit.. Maybe no one believes but it doesnt really matter anyway.... Probably jsut tired about anything and everything.. But I seriously don't understand why there's even a need for anyone to lie??? But then again... so what if you ever found out the truth?? cause most of the time it never is nice... Is life that bleeeaaaakkkk?? The more I find out.. which I did not want to but inadvertently did... the more I hate myself... Why did I bother?? Sometimes there is no answer....
But I'm even more confused now...if wat happened in the past still has an effect on me?? What am I thinking now and what is it that I really want?!?!!?! I really want to know... Maybe i'll never find out.. Maybe one day I would... But when can I be sure that I've finally been able to let it go... Oh well... i really should sort out my life really soon... After rattling on for so long... hopefully this marks the end of everything and that I can really move on with my life... Guess it's also time that I stop tiring my friend who has given me so much care and support... he has his share of problems too..I guess i was just too inconsiderate...sorry (you know who you are...hehehe)....but oh well....the end...it's really the end...I HOPE!!! Thanks mate for being with me all this while...greatly appreciated..and I hope that everything will be going well for u soon too!!!
posted by Jin at 5:43 pm
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