What's The Point Of Anything??
Just a WARNING: Don't read unless you're prepared to hear very melancholic depressive rumbles and grumbles. (not meaning to be rude.. sorry but yeap just to warn anyone first...)
Well, looks like i really have to start studying. Been pretty depressed of late. I have no idea why. Maybe it's the change of environment, parents have left, school is interesting but doesnt help like I can't remember nuts and feel like an idioit during rounds, all the new friends I've made are great but they are all finishing their rotation!!! Everything in my life is so unstable now. Unstability sucks. sighzzz. Wish this whole rotation will just go quickly.
Everything in my life is just so unstable now. Every single aspect. It really is no joke. Everday, when there is hope, something will dash it. Whatt's the meaning of anything and everything??? What's the point of doing something for someone and eventually it becomes pointless. And nevermind abt that, the outcome is now irreversible, such that I cant even do anything to change it. There is no way out and i'm stuck in this dark tunnel where the road seems to be winding, undulating and never ending. When can i get out and where will i go?? Everything doesnt even seem to go a way i wanna it go. everything just seems so bleak recently. Why hope for anything coz my very last hope to put one aspect of my life in a bit more direction at this point has resulted in a negative outcome too...it's just like i dunnoe how to explain... there is nothing in my life that is stable... everything just seems to disappear in a day or two... 1 day is like 1 year..how will the next 3 years ever pass i really wonder....
I think any more shocks may result in a seriously major breakdown.. that time i may not be the examiner of the psychiatric assessment but the EXAMINEE of the psychiatric assessment. Oh well... what can i say?? guess the only thing that keeps me going is my passion for the course... if not I think i wont even know how to type this out anymore...
How I hope that there'll be a light at the end of this tunnel soon, I'm seriously emotionally and physically and mentally drained... maybe a weekend in sydney will bring back some sanity in me... but sighz...it's exam period.. Who will put me up?? BIG BIG QUESTION... hint hint.. hm...maybe this weekened or next weekend.. or maybe 2 weekends...hahaha will see...
Well, looks like i really have to start studying. Been pretty depressed of late. I have no idea why. Maybe it's the change of environment, parents have left, school is interesting but doesnt help like I can't remember nuts and feel like an idioit during rounds, all the new friends I've made are great but they are all finishing their rotation!!! Everything in my life is so unstable now. Unstability sucks. sighzzz. Wish this whole rotation will just go quickly.
Everything in my life is just so unstable now. Every single aspect. It really is no joke. Everday, when there is hope, something will dash it. Whatt's the meaning of anything and everything??? What's the point of doing something for someone and eventually it becomes pointless. And nevermind abt that, the outcome is now irreversible, such that I cant even do anything to change it. There is no way out and i'm stuck in this dark tunnel where the road seems to be winding, undulating and never ending. When can i get out and where will i go?? Everything doesnt even seem to go a way i wanna it go. everything just seems so bleak recently. Why hope for anything coz my very last hope to put one aspect of my life in a bit more direction at this point has resulted in a negative outcome too...it's just like i dunnoe how to explain... there is nothing in my life that is stable... everything just seems to disappear in a day or two... 1 day is like 1 year..how will the next 3 years ever pass i really wonder....
I think any more shocks may result in a seriously major breakdown.. that time i may not be the examiner of the psychiatric assessment but the EXAMINEE of the psychiatric assessment. Oh well... what can i say?? guess the only thing that keeps me going is my passion for the course... if not I think i wont even know how to type this out anymore...
How I hope that there'll be a light at the end of this tunnel soon, I'm seriously emotionally and physically and mentally drained... maybe a weekend in sydney will bring back some sanity in me... but sighz...it's exam period.. Who will put me up?? BIG BIG QUESTION... hint hint.. hm...maybe this weekened or next weekend.. or maybe 2 weekends...hahaha will see...
posted by Jin at 5:43 pm
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